Chapter Forty-Two: All the Broken and Unbroken Hearts

Nicholas didn’t want to go to sleep. He thought about all the things he could be doing. The problem is, his body only wanted to sleep.
Nicholas
Are we all going to die?
He said quietly to himself. Nicholas fell asleep.

Roselyn sat at the edge of her bed. Grey came out of the restroom.
Grey
Are you okay?
Roselyn looked his way.
Roselyn
Fine. Just thinking about my mother.
Grey
Don’t do that to yourself, darling. You’re only going to drive yourself batshit crazy.
Roselyn’s laugh was almost inaudible.
Grey
Besides, you are going to kill her, remember?
Roselyn
Yes, yes I know.
She lied down on the bed.
Roselyn
I just can’t help but feel like there is something wrong.
Grey
What do you mean?
Roselyn
I fought her today and it felt as if I was in another world. I thought I was fighting for my life while it felt like she was toying with me.
Grey
Maybe she was.
Roselyn
And that’s what I can’t figure out. Was it because I was inferior to her or was it because she didn’t really want to hurt me?
Grey
I don’t know. What does it matter?
Roselyn
Because either way, she could have killed me if she wanted to, and she didn’t.
Grey got into bed and kissed her cheek.
Grey
Well I’m glad she didn’t. I’m glad you’re finally safe with me.
Roselyn smiled.
Roselyn
I’m glad too. It’s been years.
Grey
Too long, if you ask me.
Roselyn
I’m sorry about all this. I might be over-analyzing this.
Grey
No, it’s fine. It’s good to over-analyze. Maybe you’ll find something you didn’t find the first time you looked. If something feels wrong, something might be wrong.
Roselyn smiled and knew why she loved Grey Kasper.
Roselyn
Thank you, baby.
Grey
Of course, love.
They got under the covers and showed each other how much they missed each other.

Hayden walked towards Suri’s room and stopped at the door. He knocked and there was no answer.
Hayden
They must be sleeping.
He decided to let them sleep. He walked away but then stopped and returned to the door.
Hayden
Suri, if you can hear me, I want you to listen.
He made sure he was using the right words for this delicate situation.
Hayden
Arkain is okay. Cameron is no longer our enemy and is with him right now. They’re not anywhere near the empire. Arkain is safe and you don’t have to worry. Once he’s ready, he’ll return to us, to you.
He was running out of things to say.
Hayden
I’m sorry. I really am. I wanted to bring him back to you so I could see you smile again, but I failed. I hope you can forgive me. I love you, my beautiful daughter. I’ll see you in the morning.
Hayden walked away feeling sad in his heart.

Gemma got into bed. She now felt a bit happy despite other things. Although Arkain was gone and she didn’t even know if he knew she killed his mother or not, she was trying to be just okay. She didn’t know how to feel though. She loves Arkain. More than anyone she has ever met. But now there is Ilias, the stranger who found a sudden interest in her. The boy with a beautiful mind, she thought.
Gemma
Goodnight, Gemma.
She said to herself. Happy it was only herself.



Iris sat on the castle wall staring up at the moon. She knew she is the only one left awake now.
Iris
I won’t let this happen.
She wasn’t used to fighting emotions. She has always kept them in check. The problem she faced now was she never felt like she’d lose her brother.
Iris
I will never lose you, brother. I will kill anyone who tries to take you away from me.
It never occurred to her, the fact that the only person she’d lose her brother to is himself.
Iris
They will die the most painful death should they mess with my heart.

Emmylou
Ian, why did you come here?
Ian stood down the little hill off the side of the road.
Ian
You were leaving me.
Emmylou
I know!
She ran down to him.
Emmylou
I was going to find daddy and bring him back to you.
Ian
Find daddy?
Emmylou hugged him. Little Ian in her arms changed things.
Suri
We have to go back.
Emmylou looked back while hugging Ian.
Emmylou
We can’t. If we do this is all over.
Suri
But we can’t take your brother along.
Conor
It would be too dangerous for him.
Emmylou
It’s a risk we’re going to have to take.
Ian
I can come along. I won’t bother any of you.
Emmylou grabbed his hand and walked back up to the road with him.
Emmylou
We have to go before another car comes.
Suri and Conor felt uneasy about this.
Suri
Your brother’s safety is more important than our plan, Emmylou.
Emmylou
He’ll be fine with us.
Conor
Are you sure?
Emmylou
Yes, now get in the car.
Conor and Ian got in the back while Suri took passenger and Emmylou drove. They drove and Suri broke the silence once Ian had fallen asleep.
Suri
Emmylou, it just doesn’t feel right bringing your brother along.
Emmylou
It doesn’t matter.
Conor decided not to get into this argument.
Suri
What if something happens to him?
Emmylou
Nothing will happen to him. He’s with us. We have weapons and we have you.
Suri
I can’t protect you all.
Emmylou
But you can protect him.
Suri
And what if I can’t? What then, Emmylou?
Emmylou didn’t take her eyes off the road.
Emmylou
I don’t know. I don’t know right now, Suri. All I know is we have to find my dad and Arkain. If we turn back now we’ll never find them. Ian will be alright. If something happens to him, I’ll deal with it.

The five shadows above watched Cameron and Arkain as well as Velis and Malic with pleasure. They waited for the right time to move in on them.
Shadow 1
That must be Cameron and Arkain.
Shadow 2
I’m sure the blonde bitch is Velis.
Shadow 3
Does she have to be a bitch?
The female voice said.
Shadow 4
Her reputation says so.
Shadow 5
I want to eat her. She looks tasty. Not the black one though, you guys can have him.
Shadow 4
We don’t eat people, remember?
Shadow 5
I always forget. Especially when I am hungry.
Shadow 1
Quiet, you’ll have your meal later. These ones are off limits.
Shadow 2
Yeah, these ones are our friends.
They all laughed but shadow 1.
Shadow 1
We shall wait a bit longer before we seek their attention.
Shadow 2
Why is that? Why can’t we just go down there right now?
Shadow 1
Patience, my love. I have my reasons.
Shadow 3
And your reason has always guided us in the right direction. We shall wait.
Shadow 2
Fuck it.
They stood and watched the show below.

Malic
What do you think they’re talking about?
Velis pushed her hair back.
Velis
I don’t care.
Malic
Liar.
She laughed.
Velis
I don’t lie.
Malic
Liar again!
Velis
Fuck off.
Malic clapped his hands.
Malic
It’s cold out here, isn’t it?
Velis
You got that right.
Malic
Can I ask you something?
Velis was surprised to hear that question.
Velis
Besides that one? Yes.
Malic
Do you love him?
Velis
Who?
Malic
Who do you think?
Velis
At the moment I am thinking of a lot of people.
Malic
That’s a bit slutty. But no, I meant Cameron.
Velis
Define love.
Malic
Well, like you want to be with him love.
Velis
I don’t know.
Malic almost laughed.
Malic
Are you serious?
Velis
I might be.
Malic
How does someone not know?
Velis
They just don’t.
Malic
You’re such a liar.
Velis
Oh well.
Malic laughed.
Malic
Come on V, you have to know. Everyone knows how they feel about another.
Velis
I don’t know what to tell you. I guess I’m just afraid.
Malic gasped.
Malic
Afraid? Velis, the most coldhearted bitch on the planet, afraid?
Velis
Well I don’t know about that. Akasha is pretty empty hearted.
They both laughed.
Velis
No, but seriously, I guess I am afraid.
Malic
What could you possibly be afraid of?
Velis
Of him.
Malic
Of Cameron? Why?
Velis
Not really him physically. Just afraid of what he might say.
Malic
Rejection?
Velis looked down at the ground.
Velis
You can say that.
Malic
Ask him how he feels.
Velis
I don’t want to ask him.
Malic
I’ll do it.
Velis
No, idiot.
Malic
Well you have to find out sometime.
Velis
I hope I never do, actually.
Malic laughed.
Velis
Why are you laughing, dick?
Malic
It’s just so weird to know you have a heart.
Velis punched his arm.
Velis
Shut up.
Malic
It’s true.
Velis
Well, every badass would like you to believe they don’t. Have to hold up a certain image, you know? But in reality, we all have hearts. Even the sickest of the sickest have something that’s driving them.
Malic
So Hitler had a heart?
Velis
I’m sure Stalin and others did too. They did horrible things.
Malic
That’s for sure.
Velis
But they loved someone or something while doing them.
Malic
I guess I know what you mean. So you kill people, but you love others though. It’s very poetic when you think about it.
Velis
I guess. I don’t really care though. I do what I have to do and put my heart on the sidelines while doing it.
Malic
Is it worth it?
Velis
Is what worth it?
Malic
Well, having to keep it from him.
Velis
I can’t say. It has its good and bad times. Hey, at least neither of us gets hurt.
Malic
And neither of you ever find out you loved each other.
Velis felt a sudden build up of emotions.
Velis
Malic, it’s not that easy.
Malic
I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been in love. Heck, I don’t think I care to be in love.
Velis
If you break a person’s bones, they’ll grow back.
Malic
I know.
Velis
But if you break their heart, chances are it will never go back to normal.
She kicked the sand.
Velis
And even if it does, it will never go back to the way it was before.
Malic didn’t know what to say.
Velis
Just a pile of broken pieces trying to resemble what they used to be.
Malic
Sounds like you’ve been broken hearted before.
Velis looked up at Malic.
Velis
No I haven’t. I can only imagine.




Arkain didn’t know where it came from exactly. To be fair, he wasn’t thinking straight either. All he felt was his anger. How could this be true? Gemma killed his mother.
Cameron
You must control yourself.
It just can’t be, he thought. Why would Gemma do it? Why didn’t she tell him? Wait, was she trying to tell him? Arkain’s thoughts raced back and forward. Arkain stood up.
Cameron
What are you doing?
Arkain walked forward towards the ocean but fell back down to his knees. His body wasn’t listening anymore. All his energy was being concentrated on his mind. He wanted to scream but he controlled himself.
Cameron
Arkain, don’t forget to breathe.
Arkain took a deep breath. He did stop breathing before that without knowing.
Arkain
Gemma, she couldn’t have done it.
He planted his hands in the sand.
Cameron
Oh, but she did.
Cameron stood by Arkain.
Cameron
You see, people can do anything. They can be the person closest to your heart and they could be the person who sticks the sword through it. It’s all possible. There are no real boundaries.
He bent down to Arkain’s level.
Cameron
Think back, Arkain. Did she ever act a certain way around you? Ever seem tense or act like she wanted to say something?
Arkain thought about it. He remembered their last encounter.
Arkain
She wanted to tell me something that last time I seen her.
He thought back further.
Arkain
And the time before that.
And further.
Arkain
And the first time I seen her before all of this happened, she,
Arkain hesitated.
Cameron
Was she afraid to tell you?
Arkain didn’t want to say it.
Cameron
She had something to tell you, but couldn’t, could she?
Arkain nodded his head.
Cameron
She knew she had killed your mother and she had the power to keep a smile when she first spoke with you at the scene. How disgusting.
Arkain
She wanted to tell me.
Cameron laughed.
Cameron
Wanting to do something is not the same as doing something!
Cameron stood up straight.
Cameron
Wanting to shoot a gun is different from actually shooting it, is it not?
Arkain
Yes. But she’s a good person, she’s my friend.
Cameron
Arkain, Gemma killed your mother. That isn’t what good people do. She concealed it and allowed the White Coats to scapegoat. She stood by as they blamed us for the tragic murdering of your mother!
Arkain felt dizzy.
Arkain
She didn’t mean to do it. She couldn’t have meant to do it.
Cameron
Didn’t mean to do it? How do know you this? Murderers kill in cold blood!
He crossed his arms.
Cameron
There is little room for accident.
And then it hit him as if it didn’t when he first found out. His mother, the person he cared most about, is dead. The person who provided for him, raised him, and showed him how to be a good person is now gone forever. To make matters worse, his friend murdered her.
Arkain
Gemma, killed my mother.
Gemma, the girl he always thought was different and beautiful, did it. As much as he didn’t want to believe it, he knew it was true.
Arkain
My mom, my fucking mom is dead!
A wave of energy flew towards the water and crashed into it sending the water flying upwards.
Cameron
What power.
Cameron whispered to himself.
Arkain
She really is. I can’t bring her back. I can’t bring her back. I close my eyes and she’s there in the darkness of my mind but when I open them, she’s gone.
He turned to Cameron.
Arkain
I don’t know what to think anymore. Hell, I don’t think I want to anyways.
Cameron saw tears flowing down his face.
Cameron
It’s okay to shut down Arkain, for the moment. We can’t always be strong.
Arkain
She never had a choice. She was never asked to fight something for her life. She just died. She was murdered for no reason.
Cameron
I know, I know. Sadly, there isn’t always a reason.
Arkain walked towards Cameron.
Arkain
I wish I could, Cameron. I wish I could bring her back. Trade my life for hers. This pain I’m feeling right now is more than I’ve ever felt.
He grabbed at his heart.
Arkain
I want it to go away, I really do. But how can it? How can it without dying?
Cameron
Death is not the answer. Not for you at least.
Arkain almost lost himself in tears. He wiped his face.
Arkain
I miss her.
Cameron
I’m sure you do.
Cameron did his best, but he couldn’t fight the thoughts of Christian wandering into his mind. Is this the way he looked when he lost himself to the loss of his brother?
Cameron
I’m sorry, Arkain.
Arkain grabbed Cameron by the shoulders.
Arkain
No, don’t be. I don’t want anyone to be sorry for me. I won’t be looked down upon as if I need anyone’s sympathy. I don’t want to fucking hear it. All I want to hear is someone will help me get through this.
He let go of Cameron.
Arkain
Even if there is no getting through this.
Cameron looked at the moon.
Cameron
Even if you want to let go, it will never let go of you. We have to live with knowing they’re gone for the rest of our lives, whether we like it or not.
Arkain looked at the moon as well.
Arkain
Will it be alright? Will I be okay?
Cameron
To be honest,
Cameron looked at Arkain.
Cameron
No. Despite what they say, it won’t be alright.
He put his hand on Arkain’s shoulder.
Cameron
It never is. There is only the illusion of it. Only those moments when we want to think we’re okay with it all. In reality, we never are.
Arkain felt tears roll down again. But that’s not all he felt. He felt a sudden comfort and felt connected, to Cameron.
Arkain
That’s fine. I guess I’ll live with it.
Cameron smiled.
Arkain
Cameron,
Cameron
Yes?
Arkain
I’ll join your New Order.
Cameron was a bit surprised, but happy as well.
Cameron
That would be awesome.
Arkain
As long as you’d do something for me, in return.
Cameron turned to face him completely.
Cameron
Of course, quid pro quo.
Arkain
Yeah, that.
Arkain turned as well. He raised his hand towards Cameron.
Arkain
I am now apart of the New Order, as a leader. I will be your shield.
Cameron smiled. He could not believe what he was hearing, even if this is what he wanted.
Arkain
As long as you’d be my sword.
Cameron raised his hand towards Arkain.
Cameron
And what would you have me do?
Arkain knew this was the only way it could be done. Despite his anger, he didn’t have the heart to do it himself and he knew it.
Arkain
I want you to kill Gemma.
Cameron shook his hand. His smile disappeared. Although he got what he wanted, he didn’t think he’d end up investing emotion in the trade. Cameron didn’t want to feel this.
Cameron
It will be done.
But Cameron knew, him and Arkain are a lot alike.