Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Chapter Eleven: The Sons of God and Satan

Velis ran forward to Arkain and ducked under his swinging fist, spun her leg under his feet and Arkain fell to the ground. Velis smashed her heel into his face.
Amya
If I haven’t seen anything, then I believe you are still full of many surprises.
 
Velis jumped up and flipped back. Arkain tried to get to his feet. Her foot connected with his hand and her fist with his face. Arkain tumbled into the pews, knocking many down with his giant wings. 
Nicholas
It all depends on how you look at things. I have a feeling things have already begun. The first battle of the new war of existence, and we’re here conversing about it.
 
Velis pulled out her silver pistol and shot at Arkain’s chest. His right wing arched in front of him and the bullet was deflected. Velis, surprised by this, tossed her gun aside. Arkain, surprised by this, realized these could be a shield. 
Amya
I’m sure it already has begun. The question is, when will they come for you?
 
She ran forward between where Arkain was on the floor and swung her leg up, then down onto Arkain’s wing. Arkain kicked her between the legs then under her chin and Velis was sent backwards.
Nicholas
Let them come. The army of the human race will be waiting for them.
 
Arkain, knowing he isn’t a skilled fighter, ran forward while she was on the ground to take advantage of this. Her leg came under his feet again. As he hit the ground he extended his right wing and it pushed her across the floor. 
Amya
I’m sure they will be. The entire human race will be in this war, not only us of higher power.
 
Velis rolled onto her knees and jumped up. Arkain was getting to his knees when he felt her foot on his knee and her other foot connect with his neck. He fell back unable to breath and in pain from the blow. She grabbed his foot and pulled him her way, to this Arkain extended both his wings forward and they hit her both in the face and she fell onto her back.
Nicholas
Did you think it would only be you guys? The ultimate battle of good versus evil, without human interference or say? We’ve faced monsters before, the human kind of course, but all the same.
 
Arkain grabbed her by the hair and picked her up, thinking about how he always told himself he’d never touch a woman’s hair. He hit her in the stomach. She bent forward, kneed her in the face, grabbed her head again, and turned around, bent down, pulled his wings back, and extended them into her. 
Nicholas
Against even the ones who could thrust us into extinction, we will fight.
 
Velis got up slowly wiping blood from her nose. 
Velis
Is that it?
 
Arkain walked forward.
Velis
For one thing I’ll tell you, you’re more fun than your step father. He only pleaded and cried.
 
Arkain ran across kicked his foot out only to have her push it down. She hit him in the neck, then his left side of his ribs, and then the right of his head she planted her foot. Arkain fell to the ground. 
Velis
Come on, get up.
 
Arkain slowly began to get up, not knowing how much more he could take. 
Velis
Almost out of gas, I see.
 
She ran forward and pushed her knee into the side of his head, he fell to the floor. 
Velis
Now Arkain, I thought for a second you’d be smarter than you are. Thought you’d never leave the safe zone of the White Coats.
 
She walked over him.
 Velis
I never actually thought I’d get you alone.
 
He turned his face from the ground, and spat blood in her face. 
Arkain
Did you really think I’d come alone?

 Before Velis could answer, two hands appeared on her shoulder and threw her backwards across the entire church where she landed next to father bob’s body. She looked over to his dead body. 
Velis
Ew.
 
Suri stood next to Arkain. 
Suri
I waited like you asked.

Arkain
Thanks.
 
She helped him to his feet. Velis got to hers as well. 
Velis
Well, I guess he was right, you did have a plan.
 
She wiped dust off her.
Velis
I don’t know if I’m surprised or happy. Cameron said you’d probably come alone if we were unlucky, but if we were lucky, you’d bring a friend.

Arkain
Who’s Cameron?

 The voice came from behind Arkain and Suri. 
Cameron
That would be me.

Cameron looked almost identical to Arkain, except his eyes were blue and his black hair was perfectly curved around his face. His skin was pale and he was just as tall as Arkain and wore just a black overcoat. 
Cameron
I was hoping you’d bring a friend.
 
Arkain turned towards Cameron while Suri kept her eyes on Velis. 
Arkain
Who are you?
 
Cameron
I thought it was clear, I’m Cameron. Were you under the impression that Velis was the only member of the Shadow Regime?

Arkain
Not really.
 
Cameron
Well, I am a 2nd rank member.
 
Arkain
I don’t care.
 
Cameron
You should. Your friend Velis is a 3rd rank.

Suri
You seem too young to be a part of this regime. How old are you?
 
Cameron
What an odd question in the midst of battle, I am nineteen.
 

Velis
He’s one of our newest members.
 
Cameron lifted his hand out to Arkain.
Cameron
I will set this world on fire, and you will watch.
 
A tiny fire appeared in the hand of Cameron. 
Arkain
Fire? You think you can defeat us all with fire? The wind from my wings will erase your flames, kid.
 

Cameron
You’re foolish Arkain.
 
Each painted glass window on the church erupted as explosions appeared and destroyed them all. 
Cameron
I will destroy all you know, all you love.
 
Arkain
You wouldn’t be the first.
 
Cameron
I’m content with last place.
 
Suri
We have to wait for backup, we weren’t expecting this.
 

Arkain
Lets hope they get here in time.
 
Arkain and Suri began to mentally prep themselves for their first large scale battle. 
Cameron
The son of God, will burn by the son of his opposing force.

49 comments:

  1. Dang that was crazy! & this Cameron kid, tight power! I hope i getta see more of it. Cant wait for the next huge battle :D & Ayeeee i thought you were gonna stop with the chapters?!

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  2. This chapter by far is my favorite! I feel like the whole fight is unfolding before my eyes and
    I love how during the fight theres a conversation going on between Nicholas an Amya.and the thing Cameron says at the end is perfect. I really liked this one :]

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  3. i love how you intersected some of the fight with the short dialogue between Romberg and Amya.Cameron!!!!another badass i like.haha.
    this was one intense chapter and also my favorite :)

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  4. "dude i really like the whole intertwining romberg and amya's conversation with velis' and arkain's battle. i'll admit, i was expecting arkain to have someone with him, but i just wasn't sure who. i really like that the wings give arkain, who thinks he isn't a fighter, confidence. i also like the "i'm content with last place" thing, not so much the words themselves but just the whole situation.........you sneaky snake. you got us with this surprise."- Chris

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  5. "i always like to konw whats going to happen next but you always change it up and i fakennn love that even more hahaha ......loveeeeeeeee it.......<333"- Tania

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  6. "To me so many things stuck out...first...the whole conversation between romberg and amya seems like they have been planning this out for a while, little suspicious on that...second...i like the whole fighting scene, I could really picture that battle going on because of the detail put into it...third...Suri is his back up right, I wonder why he asked her and not Gemma, kinda suspicious on that as well, is he going to make up his mind?...fourth...this Cameron dude, to me appears to be Lucifer and not the son, but thats just me...fifth...i like how cameron comes in so calmly and doesnt act right away, just calmly tells then what hes going to do...Good stuff here man, lots of potential for more."- Chris G.

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  7. "So I started reading this a couple of hours ago and I love it so far, so I was happy when I saw your bulletin about chapter 11 being up. I liked how the fight scene was in between the conversation of Amya and Nicholas. I felt like the whole fight scene was unfolding in front of my eyes it was very realistic. And I think that what Cameron said at the end fit perfectly. I can't wait to read chapter 12 :]............"- Mari

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  8. "oh snap =o....this is the best chapter so far.....i really liked when suri came around and velis was caught off guard.....that cameron dude freaks me out XD in a good way.....and the last line is genious.....this would make the greatest graphic novel ever B-)"- Ingrid

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  9. "ok so let me start off by saying that the way you put Amya and Nicholas' conversation together with Arkain and Velis' battle is GENIUS! I love how Nicholas knows that the battle is going on, and how he is not showing any sign of weakness, he is ready for war.Yet i feel bad for him, because he knows that all humans can soon become extinct... And the way Suri just popped out of nowhere is crazy, because i thought Velis was going to take down Arkain for good! And now Cameron is here and has some very very strong powers! gaaah i wanna know what happens next already! who will win?? God's son, or the Satan's son? This is going to be one tough battle!"- Steph

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  10. "Dang that was a great fight and the splicing of Amya and Nicholas talking was well done. on a critical note the dialogue could use some work cause it reminded me of Hayden Christianson from star wars. Thats not a compliment."- Edgar

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  11. "YEY THR FIGHT SCENE WAS HERE!....Dang its always more intense! I like it <33........chapter 12!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :]]]"- Tnaid

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  12. "i pretty much loved the fact that as velis and arkain were fighting, nicholas just had the feeling it was starting. GAAH. the battle scene, very well put! ahh. i'm so excited! i got caught off guard again! btw. i'm reading watchmen instead of watching the movie. ahhh. xD"- Clara

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  14. "Wow. It was like, I could kind of see this as a movie with the beginning part switching scenes between the conversation and the fight. Nicely nicely done with the descriptions of the fight, made it very clear to see the battle in my head. I like how Arkain is discovering his powers as the fight goes on, showing how he is still in a sense weak but will come out stronger than he was. I also decided if I ever met Cameron in real life I probably would have a hate/love relationship with him and I would probably loveeee Suri haha. Last line....powerful. Nicely done my friend =]"- Marissa

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  15. "a conversation n a battle at the same time....n new character is koo................haha i got a movie playing in my head....usually i stop reading but with ur story....i keep reading...shows that it is interesting....U really are a good writer Steven"- Brittany

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  17. "that was INTENSE stuff.i like how you clashed amya and romberg's convo with the fight scene.also Cameron,although he's evil, might be one of my favorite characters.you did it again Steven :)...."- Maria

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  18. "i am definately looking forward to what happens next! i liked that suri was there, i actually didnt see that coming."- Emily

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  19. "i love the way you wrote this with the play by play of nick/amya and velis/arkain."- Logan

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  20. "okay. so velis isn't dead yet.......which i was hoping for.......but i gueesss i'll keep reading anyways.......i like the fact that cameron has fire.......even though he's a bad guy.......and arkain is manning uuup with this business. ......okay. i'm done."- Sam

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  21. "Something fishy is going on with Nicholas an Amya. I don't know if I like it.. Hm. Great fight scene."- Rose

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  22. "im not very big on war at all. but you did an awesome job of describing it. another great chapter."- Tish

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  23. This fight scene between Velis and Arkain is going to be GOLD. Especially with pieces of romberg and anyas conversation intrjected and of course, the necessary dramatic music. Great writing..it's so vivid.
    Grr and because i already read Cameron's story and am essentially rereading all of this to comment, I can't hate him. He reminds me alot of the Anakin Skywalker character in that hes a fallen character but at the same time, i think there is a chance there is still good left in him.
    ...wow, how Yoda of me.

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  24. second time reading this.
    the battle has begin.
    i do hope good prevails.
    i still love the fact as they were fighting, romberg&amya were discussing the possibility that it could be starting.
    suri&arkain vs. velis&cameron.
    well.. more like just cameron. ha.

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  25. I dont like Velis, she should die lol

    Great chapter though.

    This Cameron guy gots my eye.

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  26. I really really like how the two things are going on at once. I can only imagine them having a calm conversation while the other fight. I can really see this being produced and can imagine how it would play it. Really like that idea!

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  27. I agree with Jonathon. The dual convo/fight scene works really well and keeps the story flowing without interrupting either part! Awesome job!

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  28. Your imagery is so vivid in my mind

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  30. I see now...........Carter Jenkins as Cameron? and Logan Lerman as Arkain.
    This is like Constantine meets X-men.
    Great stuff!

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  31. second time and its still good. i like it when it becomes two on two when cameron and suri show up. awesome.

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  32. I really love how you once again combined the story that is unfolded with nicholas and amya who are discussing the battle to come, and action scene between arkain and velis. Cameron seems like he is the opposite of Arkain, almost like a reflection of him in a way. Similar but completely different at the same time... excited to read more and see how this fight unfolds.

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  33. I can't wait for the next chapter!!

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  34. i like how you have them fighting while the president is conversing about it.i think that was a really good idea as an author. great job steven. i like the battle scenes as well, with illustrations this is gonna be king

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  35. i'm really liking how this story is unfolding. and the fight scene is amazing.

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  36. I like going back and forth between the fighting and talking..different scenes its cool.

    And Velis is a beast i love her ..even tho shes on the bad side :) ..and i love how she kills ppl but yet says ew when shes by the dead Father.. i was laughing.

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  37. transitioning back and forth from the fighting to the conversating is brilliant! it wasn't one consistant thing, then the next. it was both combined. and im glad suri was there to back arkain up! :D teamwork makes me happy.

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  38. i cant wait to see the illustration for this fight scene! it is very good and i really like the conversation entertwined in the battle!

    Arkain and Cameron sound alot like Dark and Krad from DNA angel. (=

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  39. omg cameron sounds so hotness..his power seems sick

    The chapter was ill

    I loved it

    I could once again imagine it..I really love arkains wings...they sound beautiful but powerful all at once

    Can u say devil vs god

    Its something mankind plays with..a constant in our culture

    But I must say ur take on it is so different so large that I love it
    I find it to be pure entertainment

    This arkain "business" is EPIC

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  40. I love the beginning of the fight scene with Arkain and Velis fighting juxtaposed with the president and his "advisor" talking. Very cool. Interesting twist at the end of this chapter.

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  41. Finally a nice intense fight. A good chapter. I liked it, not a lot though. Velis is a bitch, I don't like her. Arkain's awesome =)

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  42. An amazing fight is about to happen and I can't wait to see how it will turn out. This will turn into a feud to remember between Arkain and Cameron.

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  43. Damn! This is my favorite chapter so far. Cameron is even more of a BA than Velis. Fire is the best destructive force (well at least, the coolest). I think Cameron is Arkain's opposite and the son of Satan while Arkain is the son of God? Interesting!

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  45. Before I read Arkain, I always tell myself that I'll get to it, but after I start reading 8 just think "OMg next chapter!!" Especially the part where Suri came in cause I thought that Arkain went there alone and I was thinking "Why?????!!!" and "OMg he's in deep shit!!" The ending was really cool and I thought it was really funny/ironic when he said that Cameron wouldn't have Ben the first to kill everything he loved but it was sad too.... Nice chapter :)
    -Madiha Khan

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  46. Okay really creative on how you go into the fight and then into Nicholas and Amya's conversation! Also Arkain figuring out his wings and how to use them is very cool to see.
    ahh the fight had me at the edge of my seat, come Arkain, oh no,"did you really think I come alone." whew!! hahaha yes!
    very nice intro to this Cameron character! Me likeyyy lol

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  47. The dialogue between Amya and Nicholas simultaneous to the fight between Arkain and Velis, magnificent! Could you not picture that in a film?! I think that the fight scene allowed for Arkain to realize that he is no longer in a world that is ordinary as he stated previously. These individuals are not out to just hurt him and anyone associated with him, they are out for their heads!

    Cameron is presenting himself as the son of the opposing force to the son of God, does this mean that Arkain is possibly the son of the Fallen?! Maybe I am just jumping too far ahead.

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